“When you possibly can’t look on the brilliant aspect, I’ll sit with you at the hours of darkness.” ~Unknown
There are moments in life when ache feels consuming—when it lingers, reshapes us, and forces us to confront components of ourselves we’ve lengthy averted. Just lately, I discovered myself in a type of moments.
I used to be overwhelmed, unraveling, and isolating, attempting to make sense of feelings that felt heavy. In that area, I wrote this message to an in depth good friend—somebody who has stood by me by way of my highs and lows, but somebody I now understand I haven’t at all times proven up for in the best way they deserved.
That is greater than only a letter. It’s an acknowledgment of the load we supply, the best way we heal, and the significance of holding area for these we love.
It’s a reminder that ache doesn’t have to be rushed, that therapeutic isn’t about fixing however about remembering we had been by no means damaged to start with. And most significantly, it’s a promise—to my good friend, to myself, and to anybody who has ever felt unseen—that we’re by no means really alone.
Right here’s my message…
You recognize, these previous few days, all I’ve executed is sleep, suppose, cry, and hearken to music. I haven’t left the home except it’s for work, and even then, I really feel like I’m simply going by way of the motions.
I’ve been letting myself really feel the whole lot—selecting to sit down with it—despite the fact that it’s terrifying. It feels deep and uncooked, and generally it pulls me into locations so heavy, I’m wondering if I’ll ever discover my approach out. However surprisingly, in all of that darkness, it seems like one thing inside me is shedding and peeling away. It’s painful, however on the identical time, it’s therapeutic. It’s the type of ache that comes with progress, even when it doesn’t really feel prefer it within the second.
I do know this in all probability sounds heavy, perhaps even overwhelming, however one thing triggered this—one thing linked to an outdated, deeply rooted wound for me—and it’s compelled me to sit down with feelings I’ve been carrying for a very long time. The influence I’ve had, it’s exhausting to elucidate, even to myself, however I really feel like one thing has shifted—in life and inside me.
Right here’s what I’ve come to comprehend: Ache doesn’t have to be rushed. Therapeutic doesn’t have to be rushed.
Generally, we simply have to let ourselves be in our emotions, even when it’s messy and exhausting. And what I’ve realized is that we are able to maintain area for our unhappiness with out letting it outline us. By sitting with it and never operating away, we give it an opportunity to show us one thing about who we’re, the place we’ve been, and the place we’re headed.
I do know sitting in it for too lengthy isn’t wholesome. However there’s an influence in honoring your feelings, in giving your self permission to really feel what you are feeling with out judgment. It’s an act of affection and compassion towards your self, a reminder that your ache is legitimate, your journey is legitimate, and you’re legitimate.
With out diving into the entire story simply but—which I promise I’ll share with you when the time feels proper—I need you to know that I see you. I admire your endurance with me by way of all of this, and I want you to know the way a lot love I’ve for you.
I do know it hasn’t been simple for you. For some time now, there have been so many moments which have felt overwhelming, and plenty of wounds have reopened and been re-triggered.
If I might return, I might’ve proven up otherwise in each single second you trusted me along with your emotions. I might’ve made positive you by no means felt disgrace for feeling the best way you probably did. As an alternative of attempting to repair it, I might’ve sat with you within the discomfort and reminded you that your feelings should not a burden and that you’re worthy of affection even in your hardest moments.
I see now how vital it’s to let somebody really feel their emotions totally and to carry area for them with out judgment or strain. I want I might’ve executed that for you each time. However what I can do now could be present you, transferring ahead, that not everybody will allow you to down. Not everybody will go away.
My love for you runs deep. I see you. I see all of you—your energy, your softness, your magnificence, even within the hardest moments. And I want you to know, with out a shadow of a doubt, that you’re liked. You’re sufficient precisely as you’re, and I’m right here for you. All the time.
I invite you to maintain sharing your emotions with me. I’ll maintain area for you in the best way you deserve and remind you each single day that you’re liked and seen. You don’t have to hold something alone, and there’s no rush to be “okay.”
Take your time. Therapeutic isn’t about fixing your self; it’s about remembering that you just had been by no means damaged to start with. It’s okay to really feel deeply. It’s an indication of your humanity, your braveness, and your capability to like. Be mild with your self. Compassion isn’t simply one thing you give to others—it’s one thing you need to obtain, particularly from your self.
And regardless of how heavy issues get in life, keep in mind, you’re not alone, and therapeutic shouldn’t be linear.
I’m right here, and I’ll hold displaying up for you as you present up for your self.
I like you.

About Mirsada Asipi
Mirsada Asipi lives in Iowa, born to refugee dad and mom. Their silent struggles formed her. She’s spent a lot of her life carrying the load of issues left unsaid—hers and theirs. Journaling grew to become the one place she could possibly be totally sincere, a solution to course of ache, fact, and the tenderness in between. This message, like a lot of what she writes, is for anybody who’s ever felt unseen. You’re not an excessive amount of. You’re not alone. You’re, and have at all times been, worthy.
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